ok I have 2 spins on this. i really suck at titles, i think its cuz my brain is so damn weird, everything is a bunch of associations. things remind me of other things. thats why i'm so seemingly random, my thought processes are very long, but quick, and the final product (wat i say or do) seems random because there were a series of connections that occurred(right word?) inside my head before I even spoke... ooook, this is a mini tangent because I'm not even writing about what I'm supposed to yet. ...and to think i didnt even feel like bloggin. well, i dont. I'm just doing this to give the people what they want! supply and demand baby! lolz jk, seriously, idk, i just need to stay up to date while i can. oook, now to the topic. ok ok, my future. I'm in college, so of course I hope to be making a decent (i'd prefer well above decent) salary in the years to come. and of course I want a nice, spacious house. Sooo more than likely, I will not be living in the "hood" unless....GENTRIFICATION! lolz but like I was saying, (well, typing) I probably will not have a nice, spacious home in the "hood" but if I have children, I kind of want them to live in the hood. Am I crazy? If we don't live in the "hood," at least go to school with "hood" children (okay, i've used the word hood entirely too many times in 1 paragraph) I feel this way because of 2 reasons mainly. (1) I think people who grow up living in, umm how can i say thissss, uh, hood-like/black people populated areas, have a certain "toughness" about them that you need in life. Especially as a person of color (looorrrdy here I go. lolz) A person may not be Billy Bad Ass, but you're not gonna get away with but so much with a person whose been around umm, the hood?? lolz (somebody pleeeaase help me find a better word.) *disclaimer: if your parents have that upbringing, you're good even if you grow up in the suburbs* Now, growing up, I wasnt at risk of being hit by a stray bullet every time I stepped out of my front door, but I def didnt grow up in the suburbs. I'm not the "go hard" type, but you will not get over on me or disrespect me. All of that makes you who you are and probably accounts for that "toughness" I was talking about. Neighborhood fights, somebody messing wit u & you know your mom told u "if somebody puts their hands on you, you hit them back" or "Dont let nobody touch your little brother" Not because she's confrontational or wants you to be Muhammad Ali, but because you kind of have to take on certain umm defense strategies? idk. Maybe its you learning to be careful or to carry your purse close to you. Getting jumped. idk, anything. You acquire a certain fearlessness and sometimes a sense of urgency. Learn to take up for yourself & friends. Other people are a little too reserved at times and don't always know how to handle business when they dont have that "hood experience" lolz this kind of intertwines with my other reason. (2) People who lived in the "hood" usually appreciate more, have a "go-getter" attitude, and know how to fend for themselves. Street smarts maybe? I feel like, I'm doing a terrible job at explaining this and noone will understand. lolz anyways, other people are too scary sometimes. They also offend people sometimes because they can be kinda rude. Sometimes, they dont mean anything by it. (3) I had a fun childhood. I mean, talking about my outside childhood. We had adventures. lolz and like I said, it kind of makes you who you are, all of my experiences. I couldnt imagine growing up in the suburbs or being surrounded by white kids. hahahahahaha sorry?
*by hood, I dont necessarily mean the projects or anything
*and I'm not saying you have to live in the hood or go through tough situations to end up being a good/strong person. everyone knows there are good and bad products of the hood and not-so-hood neighborhoods
and I don't think I'm finished and I also have another spin on this title.. my thoughts are all over the place so I'm just going to stop for now...
ok im back, but just for an example When I went to Jena for the whole Jena 6 thing, I went with a friend, my cousin, and 2 other people I didnt know. One person was the girl who organized the trip (which was falling apart by the second) She was from Maryland, not B More, but the nice part. went to private school, then UVA, bla bla bla. From my understanding, she received a lot of money from her church for the trip(that was supposed to be on a charter bus) Somehow, the bus thing fell through, I think because people started backing out, idk. so it ended up being just the 5 of us, no, I think there were 2 other people. yes, ok, i dont know how this happened, after we were waiting for a long time for the bus(?) a man comes to get us in a taxi. Yes, a taxi. (i need 2 wrap this up) ok, let me sum this up, we def couldn’t fit in the taxi so he left & came back with a taxi van? lolz We were really skeptical, but we went anyways. (the other ppl didnt come then eventually decided to come in another car) soooo, this TAXI DRIVER told the girl who put the trip together (we'll just call her X) that he makes about $300 a day and she had to pay him wat he would make in a day, everyday. So, the trip was supposed to go somethin liiiiike, leave wed, be there thurs, stay in a hotel, come back fri..somethin like that. Sooo, thats 3 days=she pays him $900 PLUS gas. I really want to know am I trippin or does that sound like some bullshit?? He drives us to Jena, stops every 2 hours to eat, falls asleep on the road several times, causing me to nearly shit my pants 1 of the times ("oh it was somethin' in the road" my ass!), gets us there late as shit, no hotel, had to wipe the cootie bird wit babywipes(i love u godmommy) & change in the gas station restroom, makes SURE he gives her the receipt for gas every time he gets it, cracks a couple of jokes, and sings along with the radio. OK, i spilled some juice on the MAT of the van. THE PLASTIC MAT. I say, "i'm gonna get it up" he goes "no don't worry about it, Im gonna get it cleaned anyways." i say "you sure? I can just clean it up" he says "yea, dont worry about it" ok, its done, he's gonna clean THE PLASTIC MAT. (note PLASTIC because I can jus wipe that shit off, its not the carpet) soooo when we finally get back to UVA, girl X and the driver chat it up, while me, my friend, & cousin stand around, about to leave. then girl X comes up to me & mentions the spill. She said he made her give her EXTRA money (remember the $900 + gas) because I spilled juice on the PLASTIC MAT and she wished I would have said somethin. o nah! wont get me! i was thinkin, i'll be damned if i give her docile ass some money 4 that shit. he tricked her ass, but they wont get Chaz. AAAAND she had spilled somethin in the back of the van, i heard it was only like a drop. so that drop, plus my spill on the PLASTIC MAT plus that con artist of a driver we had, caused her to give him EXTRA money. see, thats that private school suburb shit. 1st of all, i would have neevverrrr paid him $900 when he was EXTREMELY late, we werent even gone 3 full days, he stopped every 2 hours (i am NOT exaggerating) , and it jus sounded like a lie. I would have done some investigating, called around, looked for the best rate, something. 2nd, she jus took his word for it. theres nooooo way I would have done that. I would have said, look, he's saying you spilled somethin on the mat, now he has to get the car detailed. yall need to work that out. or, at least "well let me see the spill" "give me some soap & water" no way he would have gotten any more money from me. nope. no deal. not a chance. ok, im mad again jus thinkin about it. Im done. point is, I definitely attribute her people skills, ability or lack thereof to handle business, and her vulnerability to getting conned, played, taken advantage of, to her surroundings and upbringing. I dont know for sure, but I bet that wouldn’t have happened to me, or my friend, or cousin. Book smarts got her to UVA but left her ass hanging that day...
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